"YOU'RE the Capricorn. You explain." - a man to his friends at 18th and Castro

"We have a travelling tribe..." - a middle-aged woman on Bart, to two hipsters

a man standing next to me on the platform hasn't stopped talking for 10 minutes. every third word of his is 'scientists'

overheard on the way to my office

"I'm wearing track pants and you're the hot mess?"
-- a guy to his friend in the hallway.

Troop 5080

things i did this weekend (much to the chagrin of my liver) :

- forgot to eat dinner twice in a row
- ate like a total stoner
- lost $20
- played with a (?) stray dog and an alley cat after midnight
- played wingman by acting out the "All Nightmare Long" video (so there's Russians! and they have a Cold War plot to make zombies. and then during the super sweet solo that's like, dunnnnunnunn nuuunn doot doot doot oooot nananadaaaahhh the zombies come to America and they're all, zooooommbbbiiieeees, and then Hetfield's like, "raaaarrrrrhhh" and it's based on an HP Lovecraft story)
- asked a stranger to watch my drink, which is like, in bold at the top of the "things not to do if you don't want to get raped" list that people keep giving out in high school and college and ladymags instead of actually talking about rape culture. like why don't they make a list about "how not to be a rapist" and put "don't be a shady fucker and try to spike someone's drink because that is wrong" at the top? but i digress. i wasn't rufied, FYI.